greatnessisachoice

Where Are You on Your Healing Journey?

A Self-Assessment Guide for Survivors

by Sharon Rowe · Greatness is a Choice

“Greatness is not a birthright. It is a deliberate decision — made one brave day at a time.”

You picked this up for a reason. Maybe you’re tired. Maybe you’re ready. Maybe you’re somewhere in between — and that place is exactly where healing begins.

This guide is not a clinical tool. It is not a test you can fail. It is an honest conversation between two people who know that survival is only the beginning of the story. I’ve walked through fire. I know what it feels like to wonder if the life on the other side of that fire is actually for you.

Self-care isn’t Selfish. It is necessary! 🩷

It is. And you deserve to find it.

Take about 10 minutes. Read each statement. Be honest — not for me, not for anyone else. Just for you.

Part One: The Assessment

Instructions: For each statement below, choose the number that feels most true right now.1 = Not at all true for me 2 = Rarely true for me 3 = Sometimes true for me 4 = Often true for me 5 = Almost always true for me

Section A — Safety & Acknowledgment

# Statement Your Score (1–5) 1 I have told at least one trusted person what happened to me. 2 I feel physically safe in my day-to-day life. 3 I no longer believe that what happened to me was my fault. 4 I can speak the words — even privately to myself — about what I experienced. 5 I have access to at least one source of consistent support (person, group, or professional).

Section A Total: ____

Section B — Processing & Grief

# Statement Your Score (1–5) 6 I have allowed myself to grieve — not just what happened, but what it cost me. 7 I am able to identify my triggers and give myself grace when they appear. 8 I no longer feel the need to minimize or explain away my experience. 9 I have or am working to establish boundaries in my relationships. 10 I understand that healing is not linear, and I try not to punish myself on hard days.

Section B Total: ____

Section C — Reclaiming Identity

# Statement Your Score (1–5) 11 I have at least one thing in my life — a hobby, a practice, a relationship — that feels like mine again. 12 I am beginning to see myself as more than what happened to me. 13 I can name at least three of my own strengths without hesitation. 14 I am curious about who I am becoming, not just who I was before. 15 I am making choices — in relationships, in my body, in my space — that honor my healing.

Section C Total: ____

Section D — Purpose & Empowerment

# Statement Your Score (1–5) 16 I believe my story has value — that it can serve others, or simply serve my own growth. 17 I have begun to forgive — not for them, but for my own freedom. 18 I can imagine a future I actually want to live in. 19 I am learning to trust — slowly, carefully, with discernment. 20 I believe that greatness — in some form — is still available to me.

Section D Total: ____

Part Two: Your Score

Add all four section totals together.

Your Total Score: ______

Part Three: Your Stage

Wherever you land — this is not a judgment. This is a starting point.

🌱 Score 20–40 — The Awakening

You are in the earliest and perhaps the most sacred stage of this journey. Something has shifted — maybe for the first time, or maybe after a long time underground. You are beginning to surface.

What this stage feels like:
You may still be carrying enormous weight: shame, silence, confusion about what was real, fear about who to tell or whether to tell anyone at all. The idea of “healing” may feel abstract — or even like something that belongs to other people. Not you. Not yet.

What I want you to know:
You are not behind. You are not broken beyond repair. The fact that you are holding this guide right now is evidence of something powerful already stirring in you. In my own journey, Awakening was the most terrifying stage — and also the most honest. Because for the first time, I stopped pretending.

Your focus this season:
Safety, first. Then truth — even if it’s only spoken to yourself in the mirror, in the dark, at 2 a.m. You don’t owe your story to anyone. But you deserve to stop carrying it alone.

One gentle step:
Find one person — a counselor, a trusted friend, a survivor community — and say one true sentence about your experience. Just one. That is enough for today.

🌿 Score 41–60 — The Unraveling

You’ve broken some of the silence. Now the full weight of what happened is starting to be felt — maybe for the first time. This stage is hard. It is also brave.

What this stage feels like:
Some days you feel like you’re going backwards. Old wounds are surfacing. Emotions you pushed down are rising up without warning. Relationships feel complicated. You may be grieving things you never gave yourself permission to grieve before — the childhood that was stolen, the trust that was shattered, the version of yourself you might have been.

What I want you to know:
This is not regression. This is the work. For years, many of us held everything in place through sheer willpower and silence. When that structure begins to shift — that is healing happening. It doesn’t always look like healing. But it is.

Your focus this season:
Give yourself permission to feel what you actually feel. Anger is not a flaw. Sadness is not weakness. Grief is the love you couldn’t spend on yourself for a long time. Spend some of it now.

One gentle step:
Start a grief journal — not about what happened, but about what it cost you. Write down everything you lost, or everything you deserved to have and didn’t get. Let that be a place of honest mourning.

🌸 Score 61–75 — The Reclaiming

You are in the middle of one of the most powerful transitions in the healing journey: you are beginning to take yourself back.

What this stage feels like:
You are more aware of your triggers. You are learning — maybe for the first time — what your boundaries actually are. You are starting to notice the difference between the self you were performing and the self you actually are. Parts of your life are beginning to feel like yours again.

What I want you to know:
This stage is where identity gets rebuilt, brick by brick. It’s not glamorous. It’s quiet, personal, and sometimes lonely. People around you may not even notice the enormous work you’re doing. But you are becoming someone new — not by forgetting who you were, but by choosing who you will be.

Your focus this season:
Reclaim something. It could be your body, through movement. Your voice, through writing or speaking. Your joy, through a creative practice. Your peace, through a boundary you set and held. Start small. Start somewhere.

One gentle step:
Identify one thing that was taken from you — your confidence, your trust in your own judgment, your sense of safety in your own skin — and do one small, intentional act this week to begin taking it back.

🌻 Score 76–90 — The Integrating

You have done significant work. You are no longer running from your story — you are beginning to carry it as something that belongs to you, not something that defines you.

What this stage feels like:
Your story no longer has the same power to swallow you whole. You can speak more of it, more of the time, without being pulled under. You have begun to build a life that reflects your values, your healing, your strength. Forgiveness — the kind for your own liberation, not for their absolution — may be entering your vocabulary.

What I want you to know:
Integration is not the end. It is the deepening. The work at this stage is learning to hold the truth of what happened and the truth of who you are becoming — at the same time, without collapsing either one.

Your focus this season:
Find the thread that connects your experience to your purpose. What do you know now that you wish someone had told you? Who do you want to protect, guide, or walk beside? Purpose is often hidden inside our wounds.

One gentle step:
Write a letter to someone earlier on the journey — a stranger, a younger version of yourself, a child who will never have to experience what you did if people like you speak up. You don’t have to send it. Just write it.

🌟 Score 91–100 — The Expanding

You are living proof of your own philosophy. Greatness — your greatness — is on display not in its perfection, but in its persistence.

What this stage feels like:
You are able to hold your pain and your purpose in the same hand. You are showing up for others. You are sharing your story — in whatever form feels true to you — and watching it do what you once needed someone else’s story to do for you.

What I want you to know:
This stage does not mean you are “done.” Healing continues to deepen, long after the acute wounds have closed. What changes is your relationship to it. You are no longer a passenger in your own life. You are steering.

Your focus this season:
Scale your impact. Every survivor who finds their way to Expanding has a responsibility only they can fulfill: to close the distance for someone still in the Awakening. Be visible. Be honest. Be the voice you needed.

One gentle step:
Tell your story somewhere new this month — a post, a conversation, a podcast appearance, a page you finally write. Let someone see that the road they’re on has a destination worth fighting for.

Part Four: Your 30-Day Roadmap

No matter your stage, the next 30 days are a gift you can give yourself. Here is a gentle, stage-responsive framework.

Week 1 — Affirm

“I am allowed to tell the truth about my own life.”

Day 1–3: Read your stage description again. Sit with it. Journal one reaction to it — surprise, resistance, recognition.
Day 4–5: Identify your one anchor this month — one person, practice, or resource you will return to when things get hard.
Day 6–7: Write five things you have already survived. Proof already exists. Start collecting it.

Week 2 — Educate

“Understanding what happened to me is not the same as accepting it.”

Day 8–10: Learn one new thing about the dynamics of trauma and abuse — a book chapter, a podcast episode, a credible article. Knowledge is armor.
Day 11–12: Identify one story that is not yours to carry anymore. What belief about yourself — I was stupid, I should have known, I should have stopped it — can you begin to set down?
Day 13–14: Share something you learned with someone you trust. Teaching cements healing.

Week 3 — Empower

“My healing is not passive. I am an active participant in my own becoming.”

Day 15–17: Take one concrete action toward your stage’s focus (see above). Write down what you did and how it felt.
Day 18–19: Set or reinforce one boundary — with a person, a situation, a habit, or a thought pattern. Write it down. State it plainly.
Day 20–21: Do something that brings you joy with zero justification. Rest. Play. Create. Move. Not because it’s productive — because you deserve it.

Week 4 — Live

“A life of meaning is built in the choosing — one day, one decision at a time.”

Day 22–24: Reflect on the month. What shifted? What surprised you? What do you want to carry forward?
Day 25–27: Write a letter to yourself — the one who started this guide 30 days ago. What would you want them to know?
Day 28–30: Make one commitment for the next 30 days. Write it down. Tell someone you trust. Let yourself be held accountable to your own greatness.

A Note from Sharon

I wrote this because I needed it once — and no one gave it to me.

The journey you are on is not one-size-fits-all. It is not linear. It is not predictable. There will be days you feel like you are flying and days you feel like you are starting over. Both are part of it.

What I can promise you — from experience, not theory — is this: the other side of this work is real. The life you are building through this pain is real. And you are not walking toward it alone.

You are not alone.

You are not what happened to you.

And your greatness? It has always been a choice. You are making it right now.

With love and solidarity,
Sharon Rowe
Founder, Greatness is a Choice

Resources & Next Steps

Connect with the Community:
🌐 Website: www.greatnessisachoice.com

Continue the Journey:

📖 Greatness is a Choice: Shifting: Reflections, Lessons, and Legacy — Sharon’s flagship memoir
🎙️ Listen to the Greatness is a Choice Podcast
📝 Explore the blog for survivor stories, educational resources, and community support

This guide is an educational and personal growth resource. It is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you are in crisis, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (RAINN) or text HOME to 741741.

WWW. Greatnessisachoice.com

Greatness is a Choice · Sharon RowAll rights reserved.

The Waves of Grief

Grief settles in quietly, a soft weight that never fully lifts. It’s the ache of an empty chair at the table, a reminder that a conversation once shared is now a memory that only smiles through in photos and stories. The days stretch with a hollow center, where laughter slips away a moment too soon, leaving a space that hums with the absence of a voice, a warmth, a presence that once filled the room.

Living with this loss is learning to carry both love and sorrow at once. It’s finding small things that keep their memory alive—a shared dish, a favorite song, a text that now goes unanswered—while still learning to live with the quiet that follows. The pain can feel overwhelming, yet in the quiet, there are moments of deep tenderness: a memory that surfaces like a soft light, a comfort found in breath and heartbeat, a reminder that the person remains in the threads that hold us together—the love we carried, the lessons they gave, the way they made us feel seen.

Grief is not a straight line; it’s a landscape with valleys and mountains, where the ache might soften one day and strike again the next. Living with the absence means honoring their impact in every ordinary moment—the way a kitchen knife glides through a shared recipe, the way a porch light flickers as if they’re near, the way a doorframes a memory when we walk through it. In this living with loss, there is both sorrow and a stubborn, stubborn kind of gratitude: for having known someone who changed our world, and for the enduring presence of their love in who we are becoming. Making you realize through your grief, love is so powerful and a very priceless gift. ❤️

Count Down to 50!

This year God willing, I will turn 50 on 12/31/2020. What an interesting journey and I’m grateful for everything the good, bad and the ugly because everything has a purpose in our growth journey on earth. Everything is a Blessing or a Lesson. No exceptions! When you have been at deaths door a few times, 7, 25, 36 and 48 you get over so many things so quickly because you know if it wasn’t for God’s Grace and Mercy 6 ft down could have been your story.

In 7 years, I have seen 29 near and dear people in my life transcend and they will always be a part of my journey.

Cherish the day and love ❤️ hard. Plus know the other side is real. I will never forget when I got to experience temporarily the other side. I was in the process of having a caesarean and the curtain was up and the surgeon start to cut my stomach and the anesthesia did not work. I got to feel the cut and everyone’s knew something was wrong!

They immediately put everyone that was family out and gave me gas and put me to sleep. At least that was what they thought, an incredible thing happened. I got to come over my body and saw everything. I could hear everything and see everything although I was technically sleep. When I was put into recovery and I was technically out sleep. I could hear everything and still see everything going on and who was in the room.

When I finally physical woke up, I told only my mother and best friends. Michelle Davis-Sands was there and knew, Deloris Foster and My Mother Dorothy! My baby lived 4 days and then left for heaven. I got to hold him as he transcended. My beautiful blue eyed, baby boy.

I told God, if I could live after that, 19 staples, and saying good bye to my 3 pound/ 1 ounce son I had carried for 7 months and breast was producing milk for a child that had left, I said to myself absolutely nothing in life again would break me. My son’s 4 days changed my life and I wrote a list of things I needed to accomplish in his honor. I decided to get my masters degree that day, buy a house, and do all the things I feared.

To make a long story short, I got into grad school and graduated Summa cum laude. What’s so cool about it, I wasn’t even supposed to qualify for grad school because my undergrad gpa was only a 2.7 and I should of had a 3.0. But, in the end, Sharon was the 2 student in her class that finished Everything, did my defense and my 168 page paper was approved. Won’t God Do it!!! Especially since I barely got in!!!

Peace and Blessings and Know God has Us All and the Final Say!!! Count down to 50!!! ❤️😍❤️

Taking Care of Business

My HR Sister/ Friend Michelle posted a wonderful post on getting a will and establishing a living power of attorney!

Fortunately, when my Mom passed I had many on the list. I would like to add, leave a to do list of what you would like as far as a funeral or cremation or even no serve at all. Do you want your organs donated or not, what you would want your loved ones to do and what is the legacy you want to leave! Plus, ensure to tell them to move forward and LIVE. Losing so many wonderful people has been so key in my urgency to seize the day.

Have the Hard Conversation when it’s easy, so you won’t have to do it when your broken down on your knee and sleep deprived and have to create an obituary and answer a thousand HARD Questions! Trust, you will appreciate this later.

Steps to Forgiveness

1. What is the definition of forgiveness?

A conscious decision to release resentment or vengeance for an individual or a group regardless if they deserve it or not. The process does not mean you are excusing, condoning the issues or forgetting. However, you’re committed to your health and positively moving forward by all means necessary.

Why is forgiveness so hard for most people?

There are several reasons or possible answers why forgiveness is hard. For example, the reasons could be the following:

Past Traumas
Secrets
Verbal Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Physical Abuse
Domestic Violence
Cheating

What is the Benefit of Forgiveness?

The benefits of forgiveness are clear and simple. Improved health and ability to move forward.

What is the Cost of Unforgiveness?

The cost of unforgiveness is your time, illness, depression, and being stuck.

2. Be direct with yourself and identify your pain and issues for your emotional pain and distress.

· Identify: Who you are having a hard time forgiving?

· Identify: What your issues are clearly and write them down?

· Identify: When this incident occurred?

· Identify: Where this incident happened and how long ago and details?

· Identify: Why or how the incident occurred?

3. Acknowledge your feelings and own each and every last one of them! Address all issues step by step so you can heal and appropriately MOVE ON!

· Only you know how you exactly feel and what you need to feel whole.

· Communicate effectively and be the expert of you

4. Forgive yourself and be clear the real bottom line is forgiveness is always for you and about your health and wellness bottom line.

· The Price of Unforgiveness

· Effects of stress on your mental health

· Owning your health and completing wellness exams

· Seeking help, counseling, therapy, pastoral counseling, EAP or internal/external

5. Be your own superhero because no one is coming to save you but you!

· Do the necessary work to heal

· Ask the hard questions?

· What is the Blessing or Lesson? It is always one. Find the answer! You owe it to yourself.

6. Be compassionate and empathize and put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

7. Allow love back in. As long as we have the Blessing of 6 Ft UP WE Can Start Again!!!

Patterns: Health verses unhealthy

Healthy Relations Have These Qualities:

Scheduled Time Together That’s a Priority
Acceptance
Boundaries
Respect
Trust
Integrity
Forgiveness
Healthy Boundaries
Individuality
Compassion/ Empathy
Understanding of their Significant Other’s Love Language
Open Communication

Unhealthy Relations Tend to Have Issues With:

Lack of Trust
Jealousy
Lack of Respect
Domestic Violence
Physical Abuse
Verbal Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Cheating
lack of Support with physical Responsibilities, chores, children, bills, etc.
Feeling Lonely in the Relationship
Lack of Anticipation
Lack of Consideration for Needs and Wants

YOU CAN ALWAYS START OVER: New Beginnings

8. The Challenge

· Set Healthy Boundaries

· Communicate effectively

· Listen to your body

· Own Your Health and BE Unapologetic!!!

9. Eliminating all negativity, persons, places, things including relatives & close friends if necessary.

10. Be a Healer and Speak Life!

· Build Up People: Cheer them on

· Lift up People: Speak life and be an encourager

· Comfort People Grieving Whatever Period in their Life literally or Physically: Let people know their story isn’t over and a new positive chapter is beginning. Be positive and tell how the Lord can turn any situation around. Trust the word and not your current circumstance. Use the word to increase your faith.

· Let Your Light Shine & Let Jesus Spirit live in you and guide all your steps and actions.

Sharon Rowe, M.S.
😍 FB: Sharon Rowe
😍 IG: Sharonrowe5129
😍 Blog: http://www.greatnessisachoice.com
😍: Twitter: born2bgreat2

Today is a Gift. Forgive and Letting Go!

Happy Sunday!

Today is a gift! That’s why it is called the present. For many employees in corporate or the private sector, July 1 st. is the beginning of the new fiscal year. Therefore, why not start today with your New Year’s Resolution for yourself. Today, can be the beginning of you choosing you back to wholeness and a healthy, mind, body and spirit.

After my mother passed, I was so sad or even depressed. I could function but only did the necessary things in life only, family, work & my daughter’s required school activities. So around December, I crossed paths with a life coach Monique that reminded me how powerful God was and always will be. Her instructions was to write a list to God of want you want.

However, before doing it I had to forgive ever person, place or thing that kept my heart not right. She invited me to a burning bowl church event at Church where we had to bring the request to God letters and the list of who we forgave.

To make it short, I wrote a list of 10 things and shortly afterwards. Everything on my list came into reality. For example, I wanted a new car, a got a new Lexus. I wanted a nice vacation, my father-in-law called and book a 8 day cruise with a balcony view, his treat for my birthday/ family and sister-in-law and her entire family.

I quickly realize, there is power 💥in forgiveness, prayer and writing ✍🏽 it down. So after all the 10 things on my list occurs. My best friend at work calls me and confided she is distressed about living in her apartment 14 years.

So I told her about my secret weapons that I learned from my mother and combined the two events and mother’s teaching. My mother raised me in the COGIC church, so we always prayed and touched and agreed when we needed God to do something for us.

So I told my friend, don’t worry! I know exactly what to do. We had a department team meeting coming up and I told her to come to the meeting early. I told her to do the things I learned from the life coach about forgiveness and told her to right down her lists of wants and who to forgive. We came an hour early, and sat in my new Lexus truck and touched and agreed.

She asked God to get her out of her apartment into a house. A promotion and peace at work as a few others things on the list. To make a long story short, my Friend Ebony Howard closed on her house in less than 35 days and got promoted. Her home is simply gorgeous and we always smiled and think thank God for a praying mother, grandmother, mentor and people with discernment who share with us God power 💥🔥💥and ways to get a prayer through delivered through Jesus and Praise.

We have monthly personal ICT meeting because we know it is power 💥🔥💥in old school, olive Bless oil anointing touching and agreeing prayer and writing down our requests.

Why share this information, the answer is simple! I want all my brothers and sisters to win and cross like Tyler Perry said in his speech a few day ago. I know God is able and what he does for one, he will do for all because he loves us all the same. All we have to do is ask, praise and stand on his word literally and physically until the Blessings show up! Happy Thursday and happy list writing! God will always show up and show out!🌺

Hope this helps someone! 🌺😊🌺

A Closer Look – Valentine’s Day 2018 Edition: Mr. & Mrs. Nick & Latice Nicholson, 24 Years & Counting! 💕💕💕

Thanks Mr. & Mrs. Nicholson for the vision and creating Chi-Town Married Couples! I love the idea that you are supporting and building a rock solid community that celebrate healthy marriages and strengthen God ordain relationships. So excited you both agreed to complete this interview and share your wisdom on building Strong, Healthy, God Centered Marriages and Families! God Bless!!! 💕😊😊💕

Nick’s Responses:

1. What is the most important quality in a mate?

Physical, emotional, spiritual and mental compatibility…you must be “equally yoked” in all areas.

2. How would you describe your mate and when did you know he/she was the one?

Latice is an exceptional wife and mother. She loves unconditionally and has a nurturing spirit. I knew she was the one when while we were dating I explained to her that I didn’t have a lot of money or other luxury items and I didn’t know when or if I would ever have those things…she didn’t care about “things”. 24 wonderful years later, we are still together!

3. How has your spouse changed your life?

Latice has given me a greater sense of purpose. I realize that my main purpose in life is to provide for my family and to love them unconditionally. She has never given up on me, even during my lowest points, so I will never give up on myself or my family.

4. What is the best advice to give to a newlywed couple and how do you stay in love?

Never forget your vows and be reminded that when you exchanged your vows, you moved into an eternal covenant between you, your spouse and God. Always keep God in your marriage and as the husband, always stay on alert for attacks on your marriage and family. The husband is the head of the family and if the “head” is cut off, the family will perish. Don’t get your head cut off…

Latice’s Responses:

1. What is the most important quality in a mate?

One of the most important qualities in a mate is someone who is trustworthy of your heart and trustworthy period.

2. How would you describe your mate and when did you know he/she was the one?

Nick is such a very sweet and funny guy. He loves God and has always been a great provider for our family. I knew he was the one for me when I he met my Grandma for the first time and the kind way he talked to her and how comfortable he was around my family. I remember my Grandma remarking that he was a “good guy.” She said that she could tell.

3. How has your spouse changed your life?

I would say that he taught me what true love 💕 is all about.

4. What is the best advice to give to a newlywed couple and how do you stay in love?

Never, ever stop dating. No matter how busy life gets, always make time to date your spouse. You stay in love by investing your time and energy into your marriage. Let your spouse know that after God, they are “THE most important person in your life. They should never doubt this. They should hear it often and feel it each and every day.

Nick & Latice created a wonderful group on FB with 11,000 plus married members that encourage married couples in the Chicagoland area and many other states!

Marriages everywhere are under attack! The day you and your spouse said “I do”, a bounty is set to destroy what God has united.

This site is created to help encourage one another as married couples here in Chicago. Although Facebook is a powerful tool, it can have damaging, subconscious affects on us when we are often times bombarded with posts from our single friends out living the “single life”. We tend to feel like we are missing out on something because we are married…The devil is a LIAR!

Marriage is hard work, but it’s worth the effort! So let’s leverage Facebook with this group to *encourage each other,

*encourage our spouses,

*share your special moments with your spouse, provide life giving advice AND

*share Date Night highlights.

Together we can Glorify God by protecting what God has joined together.

Feel free to share with others that would benefit from and contribute to this group. Please refrain from posting anything that is not positive and edifying to marriages. Group administrators are actively monitoring ALL posts and will remove any posts and/or members that are not aligned with the goal of helping to promote and support marriage.

Enjoy the group and we pray that this space blesses your marriage like it is blessing ours.

CTMC Visionaries,

Nick & Latice Nicholson

chitownmarriedcouples@gmail.com

A Closer Look – February 2018, Featured Interview: Chicago’s Very Own, Art “Chatdaddy” Sims!

Almost 8 years ago, I had the extreme pleasure of meeting the legendary King of Chat! The one and only Chatdaddy! He agreed to assist myself with a fundraiser and relationship chat to benefit children and families involved with DCFS. Many moons later, he has conducted hundreds of relationships chats and interviewed almost everyone including my favorite Maya Angelou. So please enjoy the wonderful nuggets Art shared with me during the month of love and healthy relationships! 💕

1. What is the most important quality in a person?

Honesty above all things. No matter who you are and no matter what you’ve been through, it’s most important that you are honest about yourself and your past.

2. What legacy do you want to leave and why is it important to you?

I want to leave this earth as a person who truly tried to make a difference for the betterment of mankind while I was continuing to understand and grow stronger in my spiritual awareness about life.

3. Who is the most interesting person you have interviewed? (When you did Maya Angelou, I had tears!!!)

That’s a really great question… I’ve interviewed thousands of famous people over the years. Maya Angelou had to have been the best by far… she actually prophesied over my life during our interview. It was a life changing experience.

4. Why are relationships successful or not?

I’m always so fascinated with couples who are able to make their relationship work and to be successful because relationships require dedication, commitment and years of hard work. Most people are too afraid to put in the effort to make their relationship work.

What are the top 5 deal breaker?

1. Dishonesty

2. Being insensitive of others

3. Having little to no faith

4. Not having a passport

5. Not being adventurous

Art Sims affectionately know as “Chat Daddy” is the host and executive producer of Real Talk, Real People with Chat Daddy, a nightly (Monday through Thursday) entertainment magazine show on WVON 1690am that offers its listeners local and national lifestyle stories, relationship advice, celebrity interviews and more. With more than 24 years of media experience in radio, television and print.

Sims is a familiar and welcomed voice in many diverse communities in Chicago and around the world. Known for humor, quick wit, charming conversation and amiable personality, “Chat Daddy” has traveled both nationally and international, providing inspirational, educational and vital information on the development and maintenance of positive, sustainable relationships. In 2009, he was recognized as a social dynamo by Monarch Magazine as one of Chicago movers and shakers in the media world and he was also inducted into the second edition of Who’s Who in Black Chicago.

My Vision Board 2018

I had so much fun today doing my vision board and thinking of my mother! The things I really want, money can’t buy. To live a life of purpose, to serve, to honor my mother’s legacy and be the best me! My mother was so talented and I’m so happy that whenever I think of her, I get inspired! Dorothy Mae Roberson you were awesome & still impacting me! Love you alway Mom!!! Daddy, Roosevelt Roberson, You are Awesome!!! Thanks for Always Answering my 3am call and Always lending me and my immediate family a helping hand! Every girl needs a daddy like you! 💕😊💕

A Closer Look – January 2018, Featured Interview: Khalid Scott, MSW, LCSW

1. What is absolutely the best advice you have ever received and from who?

My mother (Kathleen Scott)! Mom said from day one (a lyric from the song from the Wiz “Ease on Down the Road….Don’t you carry an load!”) What she was saying was in life, which is going to challenge you, that you have to prioritize “the loads” (issues and problems) that you carry so that you won’t be so bogged down carry too much! I wish I would listened to her earlier in my life instead of getting it in my 40’s.

2. What is your greatest achievement?

Becoming a father! My daughter Anayah is my most highest blessing from God and my successful and ongoing parenting of her is my everyday achievement.

3. What do you value most in friendship and why?

LOYALTY! I’m a Cancerian and one of the attributes of my zodiac sign is Loyalty! I now require it from anyone in my “Village of Loved Ones!”

4. If you could have a superpower, what would it be and why?

I’ve always thought about the answer to this specific question and I keep coming up with this answer: Power to control others actions and thoughts. My name would be the Mind Bender. Sounds a little controlling hum lol 😂 ? I would use it only for good! I would make abusers be humanitarians, make liars tell the truth, make criminals become Social Workers and make those with low self esteem become heroic like me!

5. What do you want your legacy to be?

A life of taking full responsibility! My mom always advised me to be a responsible man and I listened! My life overall has been fantastic because of my strong sense of responsibility and that’s the legacy I want to leave behind with everyone whose lives I’ve touched!

6. What do you value in a relationship with a woman as a single man?

Again loyalty and a woman with a strong spiritual base and a deep love for self and her family! Or any friendship! Again loyalty and laughter is what I love from friends.

What are the deal breakers?

Easy: Disloyalty!

7. What moment changed your life?

Two events: 8/21/2002 when my baby was born and 6/6/12 when I got divorced!

8. Which living person(s) do you admire the most and why?

All the people I love (to include you sister Sharon). All the people (family and friends) in my lifetime have taught me the greatest lessons of life from their own journeys!

9. If you could travel anywhere in the world 🌎, where would you go and why?

I plan to one day take my baby and I to Africa to see our humble beginnings.

10. What do you want every person to say and know after meeting and getting to know you?

That God has finally blessed me to meet a true “Good Guy!”

Thanks much!

Khalid B. Scott, MSW, LCSW, CADC, MISA I, CWEL, LPHA, has a Social Work career spanning over 24 years. Currently he’s a Licensed Clinical Social Worker at the Department of Veterans Affairs (Jesse Brown Hospital) providing housing and substance abuse services to homeless veterans. Khalid is a 18 year contractual psycho-social therapist with CLO Psych Services. Khalid is also a contractual trainer for CASA Cook County Juvenile Courts and contractual college lecturer at Columbia, Chicago State, Governors State, UIC and DePaul University (MSW program-Chicago campuses). Khalid received his BS in Corrections and Criminal Justice From Chicago State University and MSW from UIC Jane Addams (College of Social Work.)

Khalid in his spare time he mentors adults and youths, provides social work based trainings/workshops and is a motivational speaker for various Chgo-land forums (i.e.: Assist Her, Real Men Read)and self-empowerment events (i.e.: Relationship Chats, Expo for Todays Black Woman.) Khalid has appeared on several TV talk shows (Fox TV’s Perspective and Can TV Exhale and Chatting with Kimistry) as well has appeared on radio talk shows (WVON 1690am, WYCA 102.3 FM, WCFJ-1470 am and Power 92.3 FM). Khalid has served 9-1/2 years combined in both the US Army and Illinois Army National Guard.

Khalid has written cover reviews for novelists:

Authors: Marquese Martin-Hayes’ “Monday Again”, Dunamis Dee Collins’ “Great Man Where Art Thou”, Sheila McCoy-Downer’s “Deception in the Pews”‘ and Lawrence Greg Chretien Jr’s “When The Wait Gets Too Heavy.”

Khalid has won numerous awards that include 7 military service awards, as well as Chicago State University Leadership Award (1993), Mentor of the Year (1998 and 2005) from the Bashir Foundation, Citizen of the Year from Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc.(2006), Tasc Inc. Employee of the Year (2006), Alpha Kappa Alpha Inc. Motivating Male (2010), Chgo Chapter of the National Association of Black Social Workers (Service Award-2010) and Archbishop J.P. Lyke African American Male Image Award (2010), NAADAC Professional Staff Excellence Award (2015), Chicago Defender Newspaper (2015) Men of Excellence Award, the Illinois 7th Congressional District 2016 Today’s Heroes Accommodation /Award and the Department of Veteran Affairs Social Worker of the Year 2017.

Khalid has multiple memberships that include, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc., Chicago chapters of the Urban League (Metro Board) and NAACP, multiple Alumni Associations (A.C. Powell Elementary, CVS High school, UIC and CSU), National Association of Black Social Workers, CPS Real Men Read, National Association of Social Workers and the Christian Community Health Center Executive Board member. Khalid is also a dedicated network builder with an email service that boost a 8000 member list which he provides email resources to networkers. Khalid has been a graduation commencement speaker at various CPS high and elementary schools as well.

Khalid, has an eclectic approach to therapy which includes components of cognitive/behavioral treatment, crisis intervention, brief task-centered and self-empowerment skill building. Khalid has the genuine and consistent mindset that one can heal themselves with the right guidance and interventions.

“Khalid’s Social Work/professional motto is: Growth {mental, physical and spiritual} starts from an internal source and once fertilized and cultivated, the roots can never be dormant again.