Greatness is a Choice

Where Are You on Your Healing Journey?

A Self-Assessment Guide for Survivors

by Sharon Rowe · Greatness is a Choice

“Greatness is not a birthright. It is a deliberate decision — made one brave day at a time.”

You picked this up for a reason. Maybe you’re tired. Maybe you’re ready. Maybe you’re somewhere in between — and that place is exactly where healing begins.

This guide is not a clinical tool. It is not a test you can fail. It is an honest conversation between two people who know that survival is only the beginning of the story. I’ve walked through fire. I know what it feels like to wonder if the life on the other side of that fire is actually for you.

Self-care isn’t Selfish. It is necessary! 🩷

It is. And you deserve to find it.

Take about 10 minutes. Read each statement. Be honest — not for me, not for anyone else. Just for you.

Part One: The Assessment

Instructions: For each statement below, choose the number that feels most true right now.1 = Not at all true for me 2 = Rarely true for me 3 = Sometimes true for me 4 = Often true for me 5 = Almost always true for me

Section A — Safety & Acknowledgment

# Statement Your Score (1–5) 1 I have told at least one trusted person what happened to me. 2 I feel physically safe in my day-to-day life. 3 I no longer believe that what happened to me was my fault. 4 I can speak the words — even privately to myself — about what I experienced. 5 I have access to at least one source of consistent support (person, group, or professional).

Section A Total: ____

Section B — Processing & Grief

# Statement Your Score (1–5) 6 I have allowed myself to grieve — not just what happened, but what it cost me. 7 I am able to identify my triggers and give myself grace when they appear. 8 I no longer feel the need to minimize or explain away my experience. 9 I have or am working to establish boundaries in my relationships. 10 I understand that healing is not linear, and I try not to punish myself on hard days.

Section B Total: ____

Section C — Reclaiming Identity

# Statement Your Score (1–5) 11 I have at least one thing in my life — a hobby, a practice, a relationship — that feels like mine again. 12 I am beginning to see myself as more than what happened to me. 13 I can name at least three of my own strengths without hesitation. 14 I am curious about who I am becoming, not just who I was before. 15 I am making choices — in relationships, in my body, in my space — that honor my healing.

Section C Total: ____

Section D — Purpose & Empowerment

# Statement Your Score (1–5) 16 I believe my story has value — that it can serve others, or simply serve my own growth. 17 I have begun to forgive — not for them, but for my own freedom. 18 I can imagine a future I actually want to live in. 19 I am learning to trust — slowly, carefully, with discernment. 20 I believe that greatness — in some form — is still available to me.

Section D Total: ____

Part Two: Your Score

Add all four section totals together.

Your Total Score: ______

Part Three: Your Stage

Wherever you land — this is not a judgment. This is a starting point.

🌱 Score 20–40 — The Awakening

You are in the earliest and perhaps the most sacred stage of this journey. Something has shifted — maybe for the first time, or maybe after a long time underground. You are beginning to surface.

What this stage feels like:
You may still be carrying enormous weight: shame, silence, confusion about what was real, fear about who to tell or whether to tell anyone at all. The idea of “healing” may feel abstract — or even like something that belongs to other people. Not you. Not yet.

What I want you to know:
You are not behind. You are not broken beyond repair. The fact that you are holding this guide right now is evidence of something powerful already stirring in you. In my own journey, Awakening was the most terrifying stage — and also the most honest. Because for the first time, I stopped pretending.

Your focus this season:
Safety, first. Then truth — even if it’s only spoken to yourself in the mirror, in the dark, at 2 a.m. You don’t owe your story to anyone. But you deserve to stop carrying it alone.

One gentle step:
Find one person — a counselor, a trusted friend, a survivor community — and say one true sentence about your experience. Just one. That is enough for today.

🌿 Score 41–60 — The Unraveling

You’ve broken some of the silence. Now the full weight of what happened is starting to be felt — maybe for the first time. This stage is hard. It is also brave.

What this stage feels like:
Some days you feel like you’re going backwards. Old wounds are surfacing. Emotions you pushed down are rising up without warning. Relationships feel complicated. You may be grieving things you never gave yourself permission to grieve before — the childhood that was stolen, the trust that was shattered, the version of yourself you might have been.

What I want you to know:
This is not regression. This is the work. For years, many of us held everything in place through sheer willpower and silence. When that structure begins to shift — that is healing happening. It doesn’t always look like healing. But it is.

Your focus this season:
Give yourself permission to feel what you actually feel. Anger is not a flaw. Sadness is not weakness. Grief is the love you couldn’t spend on yourself for a long time. Spend some of it now.

One gentle step:
Start a grief journal — not about what happened, but about what it cost you. Write down everything you lost, or everything you deserved to have and didn’t get. Let that be a place of honest mourning.

🌸 Score 61–75 — The Reclaiming

You are in the middle of one of the most powerful transitions in the healing journey: you are beginning to take yourself back.

What this stage feels like:
You are more aware of your triggers. You are learning — maybe for the first time — what your boundaries actually are. You are starting to notice the difference between the self you were performing and the self you actually are. Parts of your life are beginning to feel like yours again.

What I want you to know:
This stage is where identity gets rebuilt, brick by brick. It’s not glamorous. It’s quiet, personal, and sometimes lonely. People around you may not even notice the enormous work you’re doing. But you are becoming someone new — not by forgetting who you were, but by choosing who you will be.

Your focus this season:
Reclaim something. It could be your body, through movement. Your voice, through writing or speaking. Your joy, through a creative practice. Your peace, through a boundary you set and held. Start small. Start somewhere.

One gentle step:
Identify one thing that was taken from you — your confidence, your trust in your own judgment, your sense of safety in your own skin — and do one small, intentional act this week to begin taking it back.

🌻 Score 76–90 — The Integrating

You have done significant work. You are no longer running from your story — you are beginning to carry it as something that belongs to you, not something that defines you.

What this stage feels like:
Your story no longer has the same power to swallow you whole. You can speak more of it, more of the time, without being pulled under. You have begun to build a life that reflects your values, your healing, your strength. Forgiveness — the kind for your own liberation, not for their absolution — may be entering your vocabulary.

What I want you to know:
Integration is not the end. It is the deepening. The work at this stage is learning to hold the truth of what happened and the truth of who you are becoming — at the same time, without collapsing either one.

Your focus this season:
Find the thread that connects your experience to your purpose. What do you know now that you wish someone had told you? Who do you want to protect, guide, or walk beside? Purpose is often hidden inside our wounds.

One gentle step:
Write a letter to someone earlier on the journey — a stranger, a younger version of yourself, a child who will never have to experience what you did if people like you speak up. You don’t have to send it. Just write it.

🌟 Score 91–100 — The Expanding

You are living proof of your own philosophy. Greatness — your greatness — is on display not in its perfection, but in its persistence.

What this stage feels like:
You are able to hold your pain and your purpose in the same hand. You are showing up for others. You are sharing your story — in whatever form feels true to you — and watching it do what you once needed someone else’s story to do for you.

What I want you to know:
This stage does not mean you are “done.” Healing continues to deepen, long after the acute wounds have closed. What changes is your relationship to it. You are no longer a passenger in your own life. You are steering.

Your focus this season:
Scale your impact. Every survivor who finds their way to Expanding has a responsibility only they can fulfill: to close the distance for someone still in the Awakening. Be visible. Be honest. Be the voice you needed.

One gentle step:
Tell your story somewhere new this month — a post, a conversation, a podcast appearance, a page you finally write. Let someone see that the road they’re on has a destination worth fighting for.

Part Four: Your 30-Day Roadmap

No matter your stage, the next 30 days are a gift you can give yourself. Here is a gentle, stage-responsive framework.

Week 1 — Affirm

“I am allowed to tell the truth about my own life.”

Day 1–3: Read your stage description again. Sit with it. Journal one reaction to it — surprise, resistance, recognition.
Day 4–5: Identify your one anchor this month — one person, practice, or resource you will return to when things get hard.
Day 6–7: Write five things you have already survived. Proof already exists. Start collecting it.

Week 2 — Educate

“Understanding what happened to me is not the same as accepting it.”

Day 8–10: Learn one new thing about the dynamics of trauma and abuse — a book chapter, a podcast episode, a credible article. Knowledge is armor.
Day 11–12: Identify one story that is not yours to carry anymore. What belief about yourself — I was stupid, I should have known, I should have stopped it — can you begin to set down?
Day 13–14: Share something you learned with someone you trust. Teaching cements healing.

Week 3 — Empower

“My healing is not passive. I am an active participant in my own becoming.”

Day 15–17: Take one concrete action toward your stage’s focus (see above). Write down what you did and how it felt.
Day 18–19: Set or reinforce one boundary — with a person, a situation, a habit, or a thought pattern. Write it down. State it plainly.
Day 20–21: Do something that brings you joy with zero justification. Rest. Play. Create. Move. Not because it’s productive — because you deserve it.

Week 4 — Live

“A life of meaning is built in the choosing — one day, one decision at a time.”

Day 22–24: Reflect on the month. What shifted? What surprised you? What do you want to carry forward?
Day 25–27: Write a letter to yourself — the one who started this guide 30 days ago. What would you want them to know?
Day 28–30: Make one commitment for the next 30 days. Write it down. Tell someone you trust. Let yourself be held accountable to your own greatness.

A Note from Sharon

I wrote this because I needed it once — and no one gave it to me.

The journey you are on is not one-size-fits-all. It is not linear. It is not predictable. There will be days you feel like you are flying and days you feel like you are starting over. Both are part of it.

What I can promise you — from experience, not theory — is this: the other side of this work is real. The life you are building through this pain is real. And you are not walking toward it alone.

You are not alone.

You are not what happened to you.

And your greatness? It has always been a choice. You are making it right now.

With love and solidarity,
Sharon Rowe
Founder, Greatness is a Choice

Resources & Next Steps

Connect with the Community:
🌐 Website: www.greatnessisachoice.com

Continue the Journey:

📖 Greatness is a Choice: Shifting: Reflections, Lessons, and Legacy — Sharon’s flagship memoir
🎙️ Listen to the Greatness is a Choice Podcast
📝 Explore the blog for survivor stories, educational resources, and community support

This guide is an educational and personal growth resource. It is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you are in crisis, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 (RAINN) or text HOME to 741741.

WWW. Greatnessisachoice.com

Greatness is a Choice · Sharon RowAll rights reserved.

The Waves of Grief

Grief settles in quietly, a soft weight that never fully lifts. It’s the ache of an empty chair at the table, a reminder that a conversation once shared is now a memory that only smiles through in photos and stories. The days stretch with a hollow center, where laughter slips away a moment too soon, leaving a space that hums with the absence of a voice, a warmth, a presence that once filled the room.

Living with this loss is learning to carry both love and sorrow at once. It’s finding small things that keep their memory alive—a shared dish, a favorite song, a text that now goes unanswered—while still learning to live with the quiet that follows. The pain can feel overwhelming, yet in the quiet, there are moments of deep tenderness: a memory that surfaces like a soft light, a comfort found in breath and heartbeat, a reminder that the person remains in the threads that hold us together—the love we carried, the lessons they gave, the way they made us feel seen.

Grief is not a straight line; it’s a landscape with valleys and mountains, where the ache might soften one day and strike again the next. Living with the absence means honoring their impact in every ordinary moment—the way a kitchen knife glides through a shared recipe, the way a porch light flickers as if they’re near, the way a doorframes a memory when we walk through it. In this living with loss, there is both sorrow and a stubborn, stubborn kind of gratitude: for having known someone who changed our world, and for the enduring presence of their love in who we are becoming. Making you realize through your grief, love is so powerful and a very priceless gift. ❤️

Everything Great Started With One Small Step!

Happy Thankful Tuesday and Remember these ten simple steps to impact and improve your day and health. You can use them as a quick routine or mix and match as needed. Have a Blessed Day!

1. Start with a glass of water

– Hydrate first thing to kickstart metabolism and energy.

2. Practice a 5-minute mindful moment

– Breathe, notice sensations, or do a quick body scan to reduce stress.

3. Move your body

– Gentle stretch, a short walk, or light exercise to boost mood and circulation.

4. Eat a nourishing breakfast

– Include protein, fiber, and healthy fats to support steady energy.

5. Set one positive intention

– Choose a realistic, doable goal for the day (e.g., “I’ll take a 10-minute walk.”).

6. Write down one thing you’re grateful for

– Cultivate a positive mindset by claiming gratitude.

7. Take a screen break

– Pause social media or work screens for 10-15 minutes to refresh the mind.

8. Do one kind act

– Compliment someone, help a colleague, or lend a hand to a friend.

9. Breathe and reset after challenges

– Use a 3-count inhale, 3-count exhale to regain calm during tough moments.

10. Reflect and plan for tomorrow

– Jot down what went well and one improvement for the next day.

Cherish The Day! ❤️

Happy Valentine’s Day and Remember on this special day to reflect on the importance of cherishing everything in your life. Remember to never take anything for granted and to always express gratitude for the people and experiences that enrich your days. I can recall like yesterday purchasing a Valentine’s Day card for my Mom a year early assuming she would be here. Time is an incredibly precious gift; it’s something we can never get back, so it’s essential to embrace every moment.

As we navigate the journey of life, we will encounter various seasons—some filled with joy and others marked by challenges. In these times, cultivating empathy, kindness, forgiveness, and a commitment to personal growth can make all the difference. These qualities not only enhance our relationships with others but also foster a deeper connection with ourselves.

Your health, well-being, and resilience will greatly benefit from adopting this positive mindset. By embracing the ups and downs of life with an open heart and a willingness to learn, you create a foundation that allows you to thrive, no matter what comes your way. So, today and every day, let’s celebrate love, gratitude, and the beauty of life’s journey together.

Wellness Starts With NO! No is a Sentence!

Happy Blessed Tuesday and Remember that you are already enough just as you are. Recognize your worth and don’t feel the need to compromise. Saying “no” is a complete sentence, and setting boundaries is essential for your well-being. Embrace today with confidence—you deserve respect and kindness! Keep shining! ❤️🤩❤️

Thankful For The Miracle Of Today!

Happy Miracle Monday and Remember as you embrace this new week to take a moment to appreciate the gift of today. Remember to fully engage with each moment and savor every second of your 1,440 minutes. Every minute holds the potential for joy, connection, and discovery, so let’s make today count! Embrace the opportunities that come your way and enjoy the journey. ❤️

Grateful Sunday!

Happy Grateful Sunday and Remember Love is Always an Action Word. This is a wonderful opportunity to pause and reflect on the importance of expressing our love and appreciation to those who matter most in our lives. Take a moment to reach out to your loved ones, whether through a kind message, a heartfelt conversation, or a simple gesture.

Remember, actions often speak louder than words; it’s not just what we say, but what we do that truly conveys our feelings. People may not always remember the specific things you say or know, but they will always remember how much you empathized and cared for them. Let today be a reminder to show your loved ones just how much they mean to you. Embrace the chance to create meaningful connections and spread positivity in your relationships.

Trouble is often Transportation

Wishing you a truly blessed Saturday! As you embrace this day, take a moment to reflect on the invaluable truth that challenges are not merely obstacles but essential stepping stones on your journey toward fulfilling your purpose and achieving your goals. Each struggle you encounter serves as a lesson, guiding you closer to the vision you hold dear.

Trust in the process, even when it feels overwhelming. It’s important to view setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning. Each failure is a vital part of your journey, helping to shape your resilience and character. Remember, progress isn’t always linear; it often involves a series of ups and downs that ultimately lead you to where you need to be.

Stay committed to your aspirations and maintain unwavering belief in yourself. You possess the strength and determination necessary to navigate this path. Pursue your dreams with passion, and don’t shy away from the challenges that come your way. Each small step you take is a move forward, bringing you closer to the life you envision.

Embrace today with an open heart and a focus on your goals. You have what it takes to turn your vision into reality. Keep pushing ahead, stay focused, and enjoy every moment of your Saturday as you continue on this incredible journey!

The Healing Benefits of a Hug

Happy Tuesday and Remember to consider the remarkable power and scientific benefits that a simple hug can bring to our lives. Research has shown that a warm embrace can do wonders for our emotional and physical well-being. It has the ability to elevate our spirits, reduce stress, and even lower blood pressure.

When we share a hug, we strengthen our connections with others, creating a sense of belonging and support that is essential for our mental health. In times of difficulty or uncertainty, a heartfelt embrace can provide comfort and reassurance, reminding us that we are not alone.

So, as you interact with those around you—whether it’s a close friend, a family member, or a colleague—consider taking a moment to share a hug. Let that embrace be a reminder of the love that surrounds us and the bonds we share. By doing so, you not only uplift your own mood but also spread positivity and warmth to those in your life. Embrace the joy and comfort that a simple hug can bring!

Health is Wealth!

Healing is Your Responsibility

Happy Sunday and Remembering to reflect on an important truth: while you aren’t responsible for the hurt others have caused you, you are accountable for your healing journey. This process requires time, effort, and self-compassion. Embrace the work ahead, as it is essential for personal growth.

By committing to your healing, you open the door to a brighter future filled with peace, empathy, joy, and love. Each step you take brings you closer to a renewed sense of strength and openness. Remember, this journey may be challenging, but the rewards are profound.

Greatness is a Choice.: Shifting
https://a.co/d/3SD2aZT