“It is estimated that every 9 seconds, a woman is abused/ battered” – The Department of Justice, 1997

Today, I decided to put out into the universe some helpful information to help women or anybody in an abusive situation know they have options. No one ever deserves to be abused, and it’s never your fault. Hopefully, this information is useful and can possibly save a life or a family.

What is Domestic Violence???

Domestic violence is a pattern of physical or psychological abuse, threats, intimidation, isolation or economic coercion used by one person to exert power and control over another person in a dating, family or household relationship. Unfortunately, many people feel domestic violence is a private matter and often choose to suffer alone in silence. It is not, or it should not be a private matter, it is a CRIME!!!

Forms of Abuse:
Emotional Abuse: It harms a person’s self-image and self-esteem. It often causes shame or the individual to question themselves.

Tactics often used by abusers:

1. Repeated lies

2. Withholding affection

3. Extreme jealousy

4. Frequent insults and put-downs

5. Threats to the person’s safety or loved one’s safety

6. Controlling the person’s whereabouts, dress, how they eat, etc.

Physical Abuse:

It causes physical pain or injuries. It is any unwanted physical act.

Examples includes:

1. Hugging

2. Tickling

3. Kissing (if unwanted)

4. Kicking

5. Slapping

5. Attack with a knife, gun or any other object or weapon

6. Any physical unwanted act that is hurtful.

Sexual Abuse:

It is any kind of unwanted sexual advance or contact. This can include anything from unwelcomed touching, kissing, intercourse or unwanted sexual comments. Forced sexual intercourse between two people is always called “date rape” and unfortunately is too, too common and goes unreported.
How Can You Help?

1. Support

2. Be an Advocate

3. Support Causes that Support Survivors

4. Educate your loved ones of the problems that exist

5. Volunteer

6. Listen

National Domestic Violence Helpline

(800) 799-7233(800) 787-3224 TDD
Chicago Domestic Violence Helpline

(877) 863-6338(877) 884-0005The
National Sexual Assault Hotline

(800) 656-4673

Safety Planning:

Planning for safety during a violent act involves figuring out how to safely exit the home or finding a lower-risk place to go if an argument happens. As a result, a place with no exits, such as bathrooms or closets, or that provide access to weapons such as in kitchens or garages, are difficult and unlikely to provide safety. Individuals should make a list of people they might contact in an emergency or places they coud go to if they decide to leave.

Safety Plan Emergency Checklist & Other Important Items to Possibly Take When Leaving:

___ Identification for yourself

___ Driver license or state ID

___ Your birth certificate

___ Child/Children birth certificates

___ Social security card for yourself

___ Social security cards for your child/ children

___ Money

___ Lease, deed to house, Mortgage information

___ Wallet, checkbook, credit cards, ATM

___ Orders of Protection

___ Insurance cards & policies

___ Keys

___ Medications

___ Address book

___ Pictures

___ Shot & school records

___ Passport, work permits, green card

___ Divorce

___ Jewelry or whatever you feel is necessary

___ Journal of physical abuse with dates/time

Profile of an Abuser:

1. Jealous – Accuses victim of being unfaithful flirting

2. Isolate partner or limit contact with friends and family

3. Tries to control partner

4. Jekyll & Hyde personality, terrible alone & nice to others.

5. Threaten to hurt you or your children/ family

6. Very critical may say “No one will ever want you or you’re ugly”

7. Blames other all the times for their actions

8. Bad tempers

9. Threaten suicide or have made suicide attempts

Prayerfully, this information will be useful and informative.