1. What is the definition of forgiveness?

A conscious decision to release resentment or vengeance for an individual or a group regardless if they deserve it or not.  The process does not mean you are excusing, condoning the issues or forgetting.  However, you’re committed to your health and positively moving forward by all means necessary.

Why is forgiveness so hard for most people?

There are several reasons or possible answers why forgiveness is hard.  For example, the reasons could be the following:

  1. Past Traumas
  2. Secrets
  3.  Verbal Abuse
  4. Sexual Abuse
  5. Physical Abuse
  6. Domestic Violence
  7.  Cheating

What is the Benefit of Forgiveness?

The benefits of forgiveness are clear and simple.  Improved health and ability to move forward.

What is the Cost of Unforgiveness?

The cost of unforgiveness is your time, illness, depression, and being stuck.

2. Be direct with yourself and identify your pain and issues for your emotional pain and distress.

· Identify: Who you are having a hard time forgiving?

· Identify: What your issues are clearly and write them down?

· Identify: When this incident occurred?

· Identify: Where this incident happened and how long ago and details?

· Identify: Why or how the incident occurred?

3. Acknowledge your feelings and own each and every last one of them! Address all issues step by step so you can heal and appropriately MOVE ON!

· Only you know how you exactly feel and what you need to feel whole.

· Communicate effectively and be the expert of you

4. Forgive yourself and be clear the real bottom line is forgiveness is always for you and about your health and wellness bottom line.

· The Price of Unforgiveness

· Effects of stress on your mental health

· Owning your health and completing wellness exams

· Seeking help, counseling, therapy, pastoral counseling, EAP or internal/external

5. Be your own superhero because no one is coming to save you but you!

· Do the necessary work to heal

· Ask the hard questions?

· What is the Blessing or Lesson? It is always one.  Find the answer!  You owe it to yourself.

6. Be compassionate and empathize and put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

7. Allow love back in.  As long as we have the Blessing of 6 Ft UP WE Can Start Again!!!

Patterns: Health verses unhealthy

Healthy Relations Have These Qualities:

  1.  Scheduled Time Together That’s a Priority
  2.  Acceptance
  3. Boundaries
  4. Respect
  5. Trust
  6.  Integrity
  7.  Forgiveness
  8.  Healthy Boundaries
  9.  Individuality
  10. Compassion/ Empathy
  11.  Understanding of their Significant Other’s Love Language
  12.  Open Communication

Unhealthy Relations Tend to Have Issues With:

  1.  Lack of Trust
  2.  Jealousy
  3.  Lack of Respect
  4.  Domestic Violence
  5.  Physical Abuse
  6.  Verbal Abuse
  7.  Sexual Abuse
  8.  Cheating
  9.  lack of Support with physical Responsibilities, chores, children, bills, etc.
  10.  Feeling Lonely in the Relationship
  11.  Lack of Anticipation
  12.  Lack of Consideration for Needs and Wants


8. The Challenge

· Set Healthy Boundaries

· Communicate effectively

· Listen to your body

· Own Your Health and BE Unapologetic!!!

9. Eliminating all negativity, persons, places, things including relatives & close friends if necessary.

10. Be a Healer and Speak Life!

· Build Up People: Cheer them on

· Lift up People: Speak life and be an encourager

Comfort People Grieving Whatever Period in their Life literally or Physically: Let people know their story isn’t over and a new positive chapter is beginning. Be positive and tell how the Lord can turn any situation around. Trust the word and not your current circumstance. Use the word to increase your faith.

Let Your Light Shine! Let Jesus’s Spirit live in you and guide all your steps and actions!

Sharon Rowe, M.S.
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